#1
8:58 Dec 19th, 2011 | 5 notes
I apologize if it caused any trouble, sir, but I needed to kiss this guy. And that necessity does not involve those extra-sugary feelings of “I’d rather die if I don’t have him”, but the real ones about a real girl whose life changed the day his eyes met hers. It’s not like I’m different now - the dreamy magic-and-love-believer half-realistic girl Your Honor could have met years ago is still here. But this guy gave me life, sir - life. And it’s because of that I did what I did.
I had this problem my whole life, Your Honor - I’ve had no diet but books my entire life. So I grew up knowing that love stories are just a cruel way authors have to become best-sellers. That none of them has a place in the real world. I grew up knowing I’d marry a common guy and have a common family, while waiting every single day of my existence for that man to appear - the only one who would make me feel everything I would want to taste. I just happened to know that love stories weren’t for me, sir. And then he appeared. It’s not as if he came singing to my house his own written songs, but he made me feel - and for someone who was panicking about the idea that she won’t feel ever anything at all, that was everything.
Your Honor, this guy hasn’t made me move to another country, learn a foreign language, change my hairstyle or have another likes, but he changed my life. He made me a little bolder, a little smilier, a little dreamier, a little everythinger. He intensified my existence as no one before. And it just happened that I needed to kiss him because I needed to know if it was like or love or lust or just the gratitude for making me alive again. I just needed to know if those green eyes would eventually leave me alone or were going to be my very own doom, Your Honor.
I needed to kiss this guy, sir, so yes - I find myself unavoidable irreparable and completely guilty of having kissed him without permission and regrets. Don’t ever listen to my lawyer, sir - I’ll take all the consequences because I deserve every single and one of them. Thank you.
well, let's be honest: if you're here for perfection, I'd gently ask you to leave. because she isn't. she is the kind of people who senses her life through every single cell of her body and has the uncontrollable desire to write about it and let the world answer if it has felt the same way ever. wherever she can, whenever she is able to. every single word is a raindrop of her very own storm, and you have to understand it. because, well: she's left behind her name and her language in order to scape from her body. it's about feelings, here - feelings, words and emotions. nothing more, nothing less. she'd try to be the whisper in your ear that tells you you should meet that girl on the front seat in the metro because of the stories she's hiding behind her lips or maybe that boy reading kafka because he makes your world spin a lot faster. she is here writing in english because she wants to leave her identity behind, like superman - yeah, she feels kinda superman sometimes. she thinks this is gonna give her some kind of freedom. maybe that's her main problem: the anxiousness for freedom she can't get rid of.
the grammar is gonna be wrong, the spelling incorrect, the vocabulary insufficient. but this is not about words, but words. so, I beg you to take a seat and some cups of coffee. promise me you're gonna listen to her carefully - neither me or she, we won't ask for anything else.
